Pop-Up Rules
A host sets two or three short, specific rules that apply only to this gathering, and announces them at the start or in the invitation. Because they are temporary and a bit playful, people follow them instead of resisting them. Good pop-up rules make a mixed group easier to be in, because everyone is working from the same instructions instead of guessing at unwritten etiquette.
Use at the start of an offsite, dinner or event where people from different teams, levels or cultures will not share the same unspoken norms.
Solves: Mixed groups fall back on the habits of the most senior or most confident people, and everyone else spends the day guessing what is allowed.
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Step 1: Name what you want to be different about this gathering, for example 'people actually meet someone new' (before the event).
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Step 2: Write two or three rules that make that behaviour normal, such as 'no job titles until lunch' or 'you may not refill your own glass' (before the event).
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Step 3: Put the rules in the invitation so people arrive expecting them (before the event).
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Step 4: Announce them at the start, with the reason, and post them where everyone can see (5 min).
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Step 5: Enforce them lightly and with good humour, starting with yourself (throughout).
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Step 6: At the close, lift the rules out loud so it is clear they belonged to this gathering only (2 min).
- Tie each rule to the purpose of the gathering. A rule with no reason feels like control.
- Fewer rules work better. Three is plenty.
- Leaders following the rule first is what gives everyone else permission.
- Phone rule: devices in a basket at the door for the dinner.
- Language rule: no acronyms, and anyone who uses one explains it to the table.